Steroids! My Savior! My Curse!!!

To be honest, as much as I love steroids, I HATE them. Seriously!!!! As many of you know NMO flares are often treated with steroids and this flare of mine is no different. Yes, I am also doing the PLEX but I did the IVSM in the hospital and now I am decreasing on the prednisone from 80mg down …. even tapering, steroids seriously suck. Have you never been on steroids? Well … let me lay it out for you!

 

Steroids and moon face. My face is so huge, it is definitely mistaken for the moon. UGH. I can’t even recognize myself in the mirror. My face is so round and poofy that it hurts! UGH. OUCH!

 

They make you hungry, like voraciously starving! Yes, steroids make me hungry for everything … especially chocolate. Good thing I have been feeling too crappy to go to the store and my family won’t buy me any. They know better. Steroids often lead to gaining a zillion more pounds …. amazingly I lost seven pounds since my last doctors appointment. That is a good thing, but still … I could so go for some chocolate …. maybe a molten lava cake from Chilis? Yes! NO HEATHER! You do NOT need that. I want it though … but I’m not going to let myself have it. Instead, how about a carrot? Good thing I love carrots.

 

ACNE and/or HIVES …. I am allergic to steroids, so I have to take Benadryl on top of my regular dosage…. but I am still plagued by the ACNE and let me tell you that as a 27 year old woman this sucks. I thought I left my teen years behind me. So, not only do I get NMO I also get the complexion of a thirteen year old girl. GAH. I thought I was over that! So, tricks for clearing up the skin? Aside from slathering toothpaste all over my face? I have sensitive skin so pretty much all I can use is Garnier face products …. yet, still doesn’t work when I am attacked with the steroid acne ….. and then there are the hives! I could soak in oatmeal forever and still be itchy!!!

 

 

Not only am I itchy …. but I am bitchy too. Steroids always cause horrible mood swings for me. I can go from being so happy to being evil …. OMG, it’s true. Luckily for my family I am on some mood stabilizers to keep me a little more mellow. Though I do my fair share of telling people off or crying for no reason whatsoever! So – if I tell you off – or upset you – or say something not nice in the days that I am on the steroids …. let me apologize now (well unless you deserve it, lol).

 

Aches and Pains. Steroids make me feel miserable. Most of my friends say that steroids make them feel refreshed and healthier. They make me feel like death warmed over. I get aches and pains and OMG I just feel miserable. I am tired and sore and everything hurts … and OMG its horrible.

 

Shakes Tremors and Pitter Patter! I get all shaky when I am on steroids. Ever look at me while I am on them and you can literally see my hands shake. I get wobbly on my feet too… so yep, I tend to fall and hurt myself ….. (I haven’t fallen lately though thank goodness). And … then there is the pitter patter, and I don’t mean the I am in love pitter patter from Bambi … my Heart is the issue. I always get high or rather higher than my normal high blood pressure so I often feel the beat of my heart in my chest. If only it was due to some swoonworthy hunk …. nope, not that lucky …..

 

So those are all reasons I hate steroids ….. but right now …. something else has come to mind …..

 

I have a wedding coming up that I am preparing for …. less than 17 days away and I find myself dreading what I am going to look like. My dress is beautiful and I am so excited about it. But …. I am far from good looking at this point in time. Wedding one of this summer and I actually looked amazing …. wedding two and I am dreading the way that I am going to look. Not only do I have the poof but I have the moon face …. and this hemodialysis catheter on my chest. Is it vain of me to hate the fact that I am going to have photos taken of me with this thing on my chest? I love my best friend and I cannot wait to be there for her at her wedding …. but I hate that you are going to see this stupid port. Any ideas for those of you that also have ports? And had to wear a strapless gown? Or had to deal with steroids? idk. I think I am going to get a satin bolero so that I don’t freak other people out. I know people will understand and I shouldn’t care … I should not be this vain, but come on …. I’m a girl, I care!

 

Sorry that this blog post was so much about my vanity …. but tonight that is what I was feeling … blame it on the steroids, I blame it on the steroids!

 

Definitely BLAMING IT ON THE STEROIDS!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s